Don’t Be THERE, Be HERE.

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What can I say about the Eastern Shore of Maryland from a climbing perspective? Well, suggesting that it’s not exactly an ideal location would be putting it gently. ‘Sucks,’ is more the word that comes to mind.

The nearest gym is an hour and change away, and charges $22 a pop. The nearest crag is 2 hours drive, and features mostly 5.0-5.10 toproping on 30 foot tall river-polished schist. You’re not allowed to place bolts, cracks are few and far between, and protection is sketchy even when placed well. If I really want to get in some good pitches, the New River Gorge is a 7 hour drive, the Gunks is 5. Neither is a great bet for a winter weekend climbing trip.

All of this is to say, I don’t get much climbing in when I’m home for the holidays. I can literally watch my gut grow flabby.

And yet, this painfully flat and sprawling suburbia has a gravitational pull I can neither understand, nor resist. I don’t know why my parents insist on continuing to live in the DC area post-retirement, or why my sister settled down out here with her husband and three kids, or why I fell in love with a girl whose family is thoroughly entrenched on the Eastern Shore. It makes perfect sense to me that they should all move to Durango, or Bishop, or Leavenworth. But somehow, they don’t see my obsession with rocks as a valid reason to change and uproot their entire lives. So I’m stuck with HERE.

The social media age is the hardest one yet for people (like myself) who fall prey to that deadly sin: envy. Each day, I am inundated with pictures and updates from hundreds of people I barely know (if at all). I salivate over their Spanish limestone, their Patagonian granite, their home-crag, their ice-fest, their anything climbing at all. I start feeling crazy, begin to imagine I am wasting my life, get antsy, and plan rashly to pack everything up, and go at once.

The truth, though, (and I know it’s true, because I’ve done did that before), is that packing up and changing your life in a blink of an eye because of someone else’s vacation photos won’t make you happy.

The truth is, I’m not stuck with HERE. I chose HERE. And I choose it again and again for very obvious and mentally stable reasons. There are people here who love me, who I love, and who – in spite of their stubborn refusal to move to a mountain town – I love being around. I am fortunate to have such wonderful people in my life, and each year, I am lucky to be able to return to this part of the world, where so many of them live.

We all have jobs, commitments, attachments, and responsibilities that at any moment can feel like a horrible burden compared to our happy-go-lucky friend’s #vanlife. But if you give it a week, or a month, or a year they will find themselves in the same boat. Very few people eschew everything for climbing, year after year. The few that do end up being somebody that nobody wants to be: THAT GUY.

You know, THAT GUY. He’s XX years old, has no close friends or family, still climbs 5.X, has a million “back in the day” stories, smells bad, lurks hard, subsists off saltines and ketchup packets. I don’t want that for myself, and my guess is, neither do you.

That gravity that I can’t account for that keeps bringing me back here again and again? It’s the weight of the desire to strive for something more: to invest time and energy into other people, to work hard towards my chosen profession, to bang keys on a keyboard instead of taking advantage of the “suns out guns out” conditions. Is it the weight of wanting to aim for loftier goals than simply sending my proj, and scoring the next great dumpster haul from the grocery store in Moab.

Next time you find yourself green with envy at such and such instagram post, or so and so’s facebook blast, or whathaveyou twitter blurb, just put down the device, and walk away from the screen. Pick up a book, ask a loved one how their day is going, take the dog for a walk. Whatever. The point is, stick with your guns. If we have enough time and money to define ourselves as something as frivolous as “Climbers,” we’re probably fortunate enough to be where we are – at least in part – because we chose to be here. And most of the time, we have good reasons behind our choices.

As do our friends for being where they are. They are THERE – good for them, let them be. I know, where they are is sunny and blue-skied and dripped with tufas. But you are HERE, and it’s exactly where you are supposed to be.

So don’t be THERE, be HERE – not just in body, but in mind and soul as well. My guess is that if you do… if I do… if we do… we’ll all find that we’re exactly where we wanted to be all along: right where we are.

 

2 comments

  • Thanks for this post. I just finished going through a “grass is greener” phase, but I’ve (momentarily?) come back around. I am a runner and cyclist living in DC, and I periodically struggle with the feeling that maybe I should be somewhere else. Somewhere more relaxed, with more hills and better views. After much thought, I embraced the reasons why I have stayed in DC as long as I have– the job market is strong, and I can live car-free submersed in infrastructure that doesn’t totally suck for non-car types. I don’t think either of these is always the reality in many other cities. I’ve also met and become friends with a lot of interesting people here who are passionate about their careers and interests.

    I know what makes a good place to live stacks up differently for different people, and perhaps depending on what stage of life they’re in. I don’t think it’s bad to lift my head every once in a while and think about what might be better, but when that was all I was doing, I was totally overlooking all the good stuff right in front of my face.

    Liked by 1 person

  • My mother and brother live on the Eastern Shore. So, I feel you.

    Like

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